Week 7

This week we discussed the importance of intimacy in relationships. We talked a little bit about the logistics of coitus and the stages. There is excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. I found it particularly interesting during the discussions because I feel like I am the type of person that it takes a lot to make me uncomfortable. Talking about sex in my family has never been something done in hushed tones. If we had questions we asked and we would get answers with proper terms. I'm going to veer off topic for a moment and express how I feel like a lot of the people that come to BYU-Idaho have this weird aversion to talking about sex. It makes people uncomfortable. A lot of things shouldn't be discussed, I'm not saying everyone should be telling me about their sexual lives, but I have met way too many young adults here who don't know anything about sex or they act like they are eight years old and they think talking about sex is going to get them soap in there mouths. I appreciated that in the class we talked about it. Sex is something that is extremely important in a marriage. It is vital to happiness and the proper communication that is necessary. It's a way that each person can not only show there love for one another but to show there desire to make the other spouse happy. I think it's ridiculous that some people have the mindset that sex is something to do for the man and that if the women can find pleasure great but don't be surprised if you can't. There are so many different options for women today to have just as great as an experience as men. It helps the man become more selfless and it helps the relationships communication. Verbalizing your needs and desires in and of itself is very intimate then taking the necessary steps to execute the desires and needs will help build the relationship greatly.

Week 6

This week we learned about the four kinds of responses to the diminished quality in a romantic relationship and they were exit, voice, loyalty and neglect. I found these responses interesting and tried seeing which one I tended to go towards when a relationship was falling apart and I was able to remember using each at least once. Then I started thinking about the reason behind that and realized that in completely depended on how the actual relationship had started and how it functioned when it was doing "well". Every time we start a relationship we set a mood for how it will continue. I'm not saying that if it starts out crappy it won't do well, but it kind of gives you a heads up. With my fiance, we've known each other for three and half years. We started dating when I was 17 and we had our arguments but we were always able to voice what was going on and try to fix it. I later broke up with him and I was a little neglectful because I didn't want to deal with the breakup itself. When he came back from his mission we picked right back up with being extremely good at talking about things that bothered us, sharing our feelings, and trying our hardest to be better for one another. We set the tone in the beginning though, and we are actively working on keeping it afloat. I just found it interesting in my case anyways. I'm not sure if it would be that way for everyone but I wouldn't be surprised to find out that you establish your way of communicating from the beginning and you can either help to make it grow stronger or let it fall apart.

Week 5

The topic I'm going to touch on about this weeks classes is when we discussed disclosure in relationships and intimacy. I thought it was interesting because we discussed the differences of intimacy. I've always thought that there were different types of love and that each one had its own level of intimacy. I think as we get older we think that younger people, such as those in high school, don't fall in love or don't understand it. But the real question isn't if they understand it but how they understand at that point in their life. I know I was in love with a boy in 2nd grade and I remember chasing him around all the time. To me at that age, I was in love. My understanding of it was I thought he was cute and I wanted him to pay attention to me. When I was 14 I fell in love with someone I met at an EFY, a youth program and at that time love was flirting and having someone to confide in and someone to be committed to. Now at 20, I am in love with a man who I've known for 3 years. It's a whole new level of intimacy. We consult with each other. We lean on one another. We trust each other. We care about each others feelings. We know so many different things about each other and we love to be around each other. I love that the chapter about love touched on different kinds of love. We all love someone, it's just a matter if how we love someone.

Week 4

This past week we talked about the differences between gender, gender role, and gender role orientation and then we discussed masculine versus feminine qualities. I enjoyed the two days that we discussed this because I realized how many different qualities we stereotype to each sex. I started to think about how a lot of us are not the 'typical' male or female. I've met my fair share of the 'typical male or female, they do exist and they can be very overwhelming people, but for the most part we all have our own mix of each side of qualities making us who we are. We also discussed the qualities of Christ and though it was only a brief time, I was glad it was discussed. I thought about it on my way home... we are all very different, we all have our own mix of qualities, but we should all have the same goal. We should be seeking to be loving, humble, wise, compassionate, charitable, pure, faithful, diligent, perfect, good listeners, leaders, forgiving, selfless, strong, nurturing, patient and caring people. The list could go on forever. And I want to add that perfect is unattainable in this life but we can do our best at trying and that in and of itself, in this life, is indeed perfect to Him. On Friday we discussed same sex attraction and our take on it. I usually try to comment on my thoughts but on Friday I listened. it was interesting to see how everyone else thought and I was pleased to agree with almost all of the comments. I have my own thoughts as well, that I honestly do believe that they weren't born homosexual but that it was their challenge to overcome. Heavenly Father loves them just the same, He hopes for them to overcome temptation just the same as everyone else. They might have it a little harder but they can do it with the Lords help. Now I have no idea how the Lord judges their actions, their thoughts, and their desires, but that's not my job. I don't approve of the homosexual lifestyle but I will love and respect a homosexual as an individual.